What I Learned in May
A glimpse into last month's lessons
I think it often takes longer than a month to learn things which is why I don’t usually have a list of what I’ve learned each month. But I do have a handful of things I learned in May.
What I Learned in May:
Niacinamide gives me a rash!
I recently ordered an anti-wrinkle face cream from a brand (GoPure Beauty) I kept seeing ads for on Instagram. I’ve gone through my forties up till now with no special age support face products but thought it was probably time. The loss of elasticity, the fine lines, larger pores, and lack of moisture are all a reality. If I can get a little help and keep my skin looking healthy, why not? Even though I make my own basic face oils, balms, creams, and toners, I’m not a chemist, so I’m not about to start messing around with ingredients like ceramides, peptides, hyaluronic acid, and niacinamide. I’ll leave that to the people in labs with science degrees.
I ordered the face cream and the first day I put it on, I broke out in a rash on my face, neck, and chest. Ugh! It said it was safe for sensitive/rosacea-prone skin, but not in my case. Thankfully their return policy allowed me to get a refund. And I’ll keep looking for a safe-for-me face cream.
Hyaluronic acid actually does what it says.
The serum I tried from the same company is gentle enough for my sensitive skin—no rash or irritation. It has softened my skin and the hyaluronic acid helps retain moisture so my face is not as rough and flaky as it was before.
It’s ok if the garden goes in late.
I was all ready to plant at the beginning of May but we had a cold, very rainy month. Everything’s about two weeks behind—the Lavender, Peonies, Elder, vegetables, etc. And that’s ok. As long as we don’t get an early frost in the Autumn, we’ll be fine.
I can live without a therapist.
Maybe. On my good days. This is what I’m telling myself anyway. After nearly three years of weekly sessions, it feels like something important is missing, but I’m managing. It’s been four weeks. I feel sad sometimes. I miss her listening ear, her guidance, and just that someone who understands who I can tell all my stuff to. But “I’m doing the work, I’m taking the steps” as Bill Murray’s character says in the movie What About Bob? and this kid is alright.
I can make new friends and build friendships in midlife.
I’ve heard people say how hard it is to make friends the older one gets. And how lonely many people are. I’m determined that won’t be me. Although it is harder to make friends when I don’t see them regularly, like at work or school, it’s still possible.
It might be a slower process to build trust and grow the relationship, but it’s possible. Being friends with someone during school years is nearly effortless: sitting with them on the bus, at lunch, in class, sleepovers on the weekend, etc. It takes more work in midlife, more care, intention, and planning, and perhaps I won’t ever be anyone’s best friend again. (After all, I had two best friends from 1st-3rd grade!) But I do have a few friends now who I’ve known for just over a year and with time and care, perhaps these relationships will become strong and steady.
The same goes for maintaining friendships of those I’ve known for many years. We don’t see each other regularly these days, so it takes intention to remember to text, call, or Polo or to set up a time to get together.
Cleavers juice tastes very green and refreshing.
I discovered a patch of Cleavers along our berry fence and harvested some to juice for their medicinal benefits. Cleavers are those spindly plants that stick (cleave) to your legs when you walk through them. (If you’re going to harvest some for medicine, identify them with a trusted plant guide first to make sure you’re getting the right plant. Here’s one source.)
Anyway, a few of Cleavers’ benefits: purifies the blood, lowers inflammation, supports the lymphatic system, decreases swelling, bloating, and water retention, and supports the urinary tract. What’s not to like?
I harvested about a quarter of the patch by cutting each stem about sixteen inches down. I left the roots intact and made sure to leave lots of plants to reseed for next year. I brought the harvested Cleavers inside, rinsed and chopped them, and put them in my blender with some water to juice them which is an idea I got from herbalist Kami McBride.
Once blended, I poured the liquid through a fine-mesh strainer and composted the plant matter. I drank the pint or so of Cleavers juice throughout the day and felt very refreshed and nourished. And I look forward to harvesting more next year!
Over to you: What did you learn in May?